Alien (aka Calling All Fellow Aliens, Weirdos, and/or Oddballs)

[noun; ~ Pronunciation: /ey-lee-uh n/]

• Definition: Despite often being used to refer to extraterrestrial life (forms), ‘alien’ simply means ‘stranger’. Nothing more, nothing less. I feel like a stranger when it comes to everyday life, hence I am a social alien. I think in other ways than most people do, I see the world in a totally different perspective, and I always feel lonely and left out. I am a true alien (but don’t worry: I come in peace).
  

“I believe alien life is quite common in the universe, although intelligent life is less so. Some say it has yet to arrive on planet Earth”– Stephen Hawking

The feeling I got last Friday night during a pub quiz (number six) hasn’t left me yet. In fact, I think of it now as an eye-opening moment, an “Aha-Erlebnis” if you will (that’s a German term for experiencing a moment of clarity, making you go “A-HAA!” at something – usually when you’ve figured out how something works, like an invention).

What happened was I felt left out. In a group consisting of one of my best friends, her boyfriend, and two (later on three) female members of my friend’s sport’s team. I looked around during a break, and suddenly I realised I don’t belong with them. They have a different taste in music, humour, guys, things to talk about, ways to fill out a pub quiz form, answers to a pub quiz, and ways to in- or exclude people from their in-group (team mate: “If M joins our team, we’re with one too many and we’ll get 10% off our score, maybe one of us should leave” – glances at me. Why did I stay? WHY?).

Honestly, at one point I couldn’t care less about what they had to say of other team mates, someone’s new home, the upcoming game, the last game, or anything else. At one point I had just had it. I simply don’t care, and I am done pretending I do.

Don’t misinterpret me: there is nothing wrong with my friend, her boyfriend, or her team mates. Nothing. But there’s also nothing wrong with me. So why do I keep feeling so uncomfortable around people all the time, even my own friends?

The answer is: because I am an alien. I once took a test online and it said I am an “old soul”, whatever the heck that really means. I dove into this phenomenon and read multiple articles on the subject, all proclaiming “old soul” stuff is utter crap. So out of the window went my feeling of belonging.

I don’t fit in, ever. And people notice. It’s like I give of a scent or something. A strange, alien smell all normal people immediately pick up on…

A little over a year ago I hired a job coach. After two sessions she told me I come across as someone who’s “more mature than most of your peers”, and she advised me to look for like-minded people.

She forgot to tell me where I can find those.

But that’s what this post is for! I am a weirdo, a total oddball, and I am tired of being the only one! This is WordPress, on the internet, used by millions of people, and I believe there’s at least ONE of you out there who can relate to this! And I want to find you! I need to find you!

So here’s a short list of things that make me an alien. If you read it and it makes you smile: please let me know. If you read it and it makes you cry (of relief, knowing you’re not alone after all), please let me know. If you read it and it leads to an Aha-Erlebnis of any kind, please let me know. And even if you read this and you simply don’t care, please let me know.

If all of us aliens stick together, we’ll be exactly what Britney “sings” about: not alone.

What makes me an alien:

• I think the entire world is covered in a thick layer of BS, and I see right through it (most of the times). This also happens to people who are full of crap: I usually prick right through their Bubble Of Fake.
• I don’t care what people I have never met, nor know by name, did in their weekends, where they live, how old they are, what their pets’ names are, how they died, where they shopped, or anything else. It’s their life, why should I care how many babies they’ve popped out by how many different men? As long as they’re happy, I can’t be bothered being upset over their decisions, nor do I understand why anyone else should be. Live and let live I say.
• Politics bore me. I know I should be more involved in things if I’d like to see a difference, but I’m too realistic to think I could actually ever change anything. I am way too honest for politics.
• I have the ability to be utterly invisible in a room filled with people. I don’t even have to turn on a switch; it happens automatically. People also find it very natural to interrupt me when I speak, often to raise a totally different subject while addressing someone sitting on the other side of them.
• I think dating people you know you’re not going to end up with is a waste of time.
• I don’t like wasting time.
• I think the little things in life are far more important than the big ones (post-materialism over materialism any day!).
• In real life, I constantly feel I need to pretend I’m stupid, to make people around me understand and like me. They normally do neither.
• I think respecting others is a very important thing, and I don’t think it would be a bad idea to make this a subject at schools.
• Sometimes I feel as if I am way ahead of other people regarding several aspects in life. Like way way ahead. And sometimes I feel as if I’m so far behind on stuff, I can’t even see where the people ahead of me went. They’re just gone, out of sight.

There’s tons of more reasons why I am an alien, but this is a start. You know where to reach me: just comment below or dial SAM-PHONE-HOME. Thanks.

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Disclaimer: I won’t be held responsible for any negativity coming from this message. If you must blame someone/something, kindly blame my screwed up hormones, my weird sense of sarcasm, or the Universe. I’m sure I’ll feel much better tomorrow.

Probably.