Allower (aka What’s Going To Break Your Spell?)

  • Definition: Realising the voices in your head are NOT a sign of mental illness, but that everyone has them! Even normal people! And that there is a way to stop them from holding you back.

“Allowing yourself to smile takes 99% of the effort”
– Simon Travaglia –

So here’s a kicker: turns out everyone has voices in their head, telling them to do things a certain way or not at all. Mine always tell me I am horrible at things, no good for anything, and surely all decisions I ever make are wrong!

No wonder I am constantly tired beyond exhaustion.

These voices are part of your personality, upbringing and character. They help create the you, for in different situations they will tell you to handle in different ways. Nothing neurologically wrong with you there!

Some voices will help you move forward in life, while most of them will actually hold you back. The latter are called “drivers”, because these voices are what drives you to display certain behaviour and mostly operate on a subliminal level.

Would you really like to write a story but you don’t, out of fear it “won’t be good enough”? Or is sharing your emotions something you’d love to be able to do, but instead you keep holding your tears back because “you can’t look weak in front of others?”

All of us, we have voices like these roaming around in our brains, keeping us from writing that story or shedding those tears. And even if our minds would understand making mistakes or crying is okay, we still don’t allow ourselves to, because our inner drivers are so strong.

But there is a way to kick your drivers in the metaphorical arse, for there is always balance in nature. For every driver you have, there is an allower standing right in front of it. An allower is your own voice, telling you exactly the opposite of what your driver does. An allower would hit that “I am not good enough”-driver over the head, grab a megaphone and then happily announce to yourself you are good enough! It would creep up behind “don’t look weak” and scare it by screaming “it’s okay to show your emotions!”

Allowers are strong and positive and will help you get past your fears and onto new adventures. But they are hidden sometimes, and must be found first.

One of my last homework assignments was to find and creatively give outing to an allower (you can have as many allowers as you like). It took me two seconds to find my most bothersome driver (“you’re no good for anything”), but it took me two weeks to find the right allower.

And then it took me two weeks more to come up with a creative way to display it. This is important, because not only does this give extra power to your allower, it also helps bring it alive; to take your allower out of your head and bring it into reality.

The photo on top of this post is my allower. I used my tattoo as the basis for the heart-shape, because it has a lot of personal meaning to me, and then I used my favourite fonts and colours to create the text. I framed it and hung it on the wall by my bed, so that he first thing I see every morning when I wake up is:

You may trust yourself.

What is your strongest allower?

18 thoughts on “Allower (aka What’s Going To Break Your Spell?)”

  1. I push past my negative voices all of the time. I think it’s worse when you try to do anything creative. School was more black and white for me. You do what you are asked, and you will pass. I have to think about the positive things in my life to change the negative thoughts in my brain. This helps me be more productive.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. great subject, Samantha – it’s always great to listen to my inner voice. I find that since I’ve started to meditation, the chatter in my brain has quieted somewhat πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

      1. most definitely – for many years, hated it as it was so difficult that it left me agitated. now that I’ve been using a guided app, much better. now understanding how important a little each day is in the long run.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Same here. Never managed to get a grip on it until I installed an app. Now I get so relaxed every time (still learning and building up meditation ecperience) I look forward to my sessions!

          Liked by 1 person

            1. I’ve been seriously doing it since the beginning of this year (one of my 2017 goals is to learn to meditate for 20 minutes). I used Buddha Meditation Timer, because it lets you ‘level up’, increasing your meditation time with each level gained. It just worked for me. Now I use Will Williams Meditation Timer, because the buddhist one couldn’t go past level 10, lol. I try to pick a topic to meditate on and if I can’t find any I try to focus on my breath and clear my mind. It’s difficult, but it’s getting better πŸ™‚

              Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for writing this — great post! Funny, I’ve just written a post entitled “Self-Talk” about this same topic — I’ll put it up in a few days.

    I’ve found I do much better with “Good girl, Dawn!” and I say that to myself frequently throughout the day. I actually do want to do the best I can, get done all I’m supposed to do today, and be a pleasant person. So, rather than give in to the mean, driver-Dawn and rant about all that I might have done wrong, I’ve been training my allower-Dawn to encourage me along the way. It’s helpful, and it works :))

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s a good allower, too, Dawn. It’s important to show compassion to ourselves, too. Something I find difficult as well, but I am learning. Happy to know it works for you!

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Haha, I think sometimes I just need a reality check, lol! But then again, I always tell myself at least I tried, which is more than I used to do, and that’s progress in itself πŸ™‚

          Liked by 1 person

  4. My strongest allower is this: even if no publisher is interested in my writing because I don’t have an agent, and even if I cannot capture the attention of an agent, I will keep on writing, and I will self-publish. J.

    Liked by 3 people

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