“I control my anger and with that, conquer my most cruel enemy” – Random Paper Wisdom
Dear Life,
I’ve recently decided I want to focus on feeling. As I’ve spent the whole of last week feeling angry, I am not sure how well this is going, Life…
You see, my mother was feeling under the weather. Nothing too serious: just a little cold.
Whenever my mother feels ill but isn’t sick enough to lie down, a few things happen.
First, she starts to overcompensate her household chores. Last week she basically redid the whole upstairs. Twice.
Second, she feels the incomprehensible need to show off she’s not feeling sick at all! Think fair amounts of time on the home-trainer as well as doing work-out videos in the (elaborately cleaned) living room.
Finally, because her body is already in distress from feeling not particularly anything near healthy, the extra physical work my mother does also makes her mind falter. Result: a cranky, grumpy and sometimes literally growling individual.
Basically, if my mother feels bad, she makes sure we ALL feel bad by turning into a downright bully.
One that conveniently knows all my weak spots and keeps pressing them.
If ever I believed to be incapable of feeling, surely this week you proved me wrong, Life. I felt angry and frustrated as nothing I said or did calmed my mother’s nerves.
I eventually realised it’s not up to me to make her feel better for I cannot listen to what her body is saying. Only she can.
Instead, I focused on my own energy, telling myself it is okay to feel angry. And that no matter how I act or feel, I love myself unconditionally ❤
I woke up today and my anger had melted away.
For all of last week, I thought my mother was my most cruel enemy. Instead, it were my own feelings getting in my way.
Heart to Follow 
the feeling of anger is not at all bad… it’s one way of expressing the emotions… and well, if you are bale to control that, really great.. and what i have noticed is the closer we are to someone, the liberal we become to express ourselves openly, including the “anger”.
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I don’t think I am good at controlling my anger. Well, I am, but not when it comes to family members, indeed. So I reckon you are right: the closer someone is to us, the more easily we let our emotions show, including the bad ones.
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actually i read your reply twice..”the closer someone is to us,”.. there is a point in what you said..it should not be read as “the closer we are to someone”
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I seriously didn’t think about it when I wrote that, but I see it, too, now.
Basically, I should be happy my mother lashes out at me. It means she cares about me enough to let her emotions show.
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Happy that you noticed it now…you are right if someone let their emotions out in front of us, they cares us too
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I’m glad to see your note that she is feeling better now. I’m also glad that you found a way to set your anger aside, realizing that it wasn’t doing either of you any good. Life can be full of frustrations like that, people around us making bad decisions and dumping their unhappiness on us. We don’t always get to escape their vitriol, but concluding that the problem is their problem and not our problem helps. J.
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Mark Twain had a great quote on anger: Anger like acid does more damage to the vessel in which it is stored than the object on which it is poured. Sounds like you did a good job on yours, Samantha.
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Thanks, Tony. Although in the future I plan on coming to such revelations a lot sooner 😉
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Here’s a quote from an old yoga teacher, “When the student is ready the teacher will appear.” Have a great week!
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That is a very nice quote! I am going to treasure that one. Thanks, Tony!
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I hope she is feeling better and you have a sense of calm my friend.
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Yes, she is feeling better. And with that, she’s also treating me and my father better :p
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