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Planning versus Relaxing – Heart One (of Two)

“Failing to plan is planning to fail”Alan Lakein

Planning is in my blood: I love it! I can’t help it, but being organised is my quickest road to instant happiness. Ticking off tasks on my to-do lists always make positive sensations run through my body and, mostly, my brains. Go endorphins!

So why have I been feeling down lately? How come none of my chores seem achievable? Have I suddenly lost my planning-spark?

My obsession for being extremely organised entered my life during my depression. I was in therapy and my psychologist advised me to find something to do that would give me instant gratification in the form of a direct visual result.

So I started cleaning my room.

Before this, my room used to be a total mess! I was notorious for keeping opened presents strewn all over my bedroom floor for months, leaving only a small path from my bed to the door.

But after that little one-on-one with my therapist, I decided the most fruitful way of taking this new challenge on was by cleaning my room. And what did I find! Apart from a lot of clutter and dust, I noticed a figurative weight got lifted off my shoulders.

Since keeping my room clean helped me keep my head clear, I quickly linked being tidy to being happy.

My personal mantra became: “If my room is tidy, so is my head.” I kept this up for some years and eventually went overboard: everything had its own place and if the position of an item was even a smidgen off, it had to be corrected immediately. All labelled items suddenly had to face label forward or I’d not be able to forget about it. And so on.

I started to drive myself crazy, then, like spreading a virus, drove everyone else crazy by moving through people’s homes and putting everything in order there, too. MY order.

I was finally able to recognise I had a problem when I got home from Ireland four years ago and my parents had had the first floor re-carpeted. Meaning all items from my room had been removed and later put back.

Of course, nothing was in its correct place! It was nearly midnight and I was exhausted from my travels, but still I couldn’t sleep until I had restored order in my room.

That was then. Today, I am doing much better. Or so I thought.

Because even if I am no longer obsessed with where my belongings are to the centimetre exact, I do plan too much. I forget about spontaneity and get upset when I am unable to finish my daily, weekly or monthly chores.

I still get a kick out of ticking off tasks, but I feel I need more time to release. Not everything is set in stone and it is okay if I don’t plan what I want or feel I MUST do for every minute of the day.

I need to relax more.

So that’s what I plan to do 😉




Are you a planner or do you take it day by day?

End of Heart One
Planning versus Relaxing – Heart Two will appear on Thursday, December 6th

…Or WILL it? 😉

11 thoughts on “Planning versus Relaxing – Heart One (of Two)”

    1. That’s probably exactly what I always go through, haha! I kind of lose myself in my self-implemented schedules and rules. But I always find a way out. I’m happy you know to balance it, too!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I’m a big believer in lists and schedules. I’ve dropped the habit of making a to-do list for each week, but I do have a list of things I want (or am expected to) write, and I have a schedule for decorating the house for Christmas. (Outdoor lights on Dec. 1, tree in the living room on the 8th, etc.) I’m not compulsive about neatness–I have a stack of papers that travels from the desk to the bed and back to the desk again. But generally I lean toward the organized side.
    I hope you find the time and ability to relax and restore your equilibrium. J.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks. I tend to get carried away sometimes with the things I do, and then instead of helping me stay organised I end up running after my schedules as if they are rules set in stone… But I know I do this, so now I can try and change it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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