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Planning versus Relaxing – Heart Two (of Two)

“Just living is not enough… One must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower”Hans Christian Andersen


I can’t relax. I try to, but my mind is constantly busy thinking. Of my plans for tomorrow. Of all the work I have to do. Of new ways to draw clients in.

And so on.

Even when I deliberately take time to lie down and meditate, I need a goal for my session: no goal = no success. I need to focus on something or my mind wanders. Quickly. Stealthily. And continuously.

And so on.

In my head, the word must seems to be a must: I use it in almost everything I tell myself. You must go to bed early tonight. You must do abs exercises before meditating. You must work out three times a week.

And so on.

This is daily business for me. You can probably imagine how every now and then the pressure I put on my own shoulders becomes too much and I put my feet down and just… stop.

On those days I transform into a cranky, rather recalcitrant and downright stubborn woman. On those days, I stuff myself with chocolate of all kinds (especially the kinds I must avoid), drink beverages that do nothing good for my body and that I planned to skip during the week, and my focus is all over the place, but not in the least on getting back on track.

And so on.

This Fall caught me off guard: not only did I find out I probably have Seasonal Affective Disorder, making me feel down because the sun is down a lot, too, I also feel a lot of self-inflicted pressure weighing me down.

Because here is a secret: even if I tell myself a task or chore is written down only so I won’t forget to do it, in reality my mind turns the task into a must: it is written down, black on white, so if I don’t do it I will be a failure.

And here is another secret: it’s all very nice to make daily to do lists, but what we usually forget about are the unexpected happenings in life: a sister who’s desperate for a babysitter. A cousin who needs something. A new client.

All wonderful things, but they only added to the pressure of the MUST DO-lists in my head.

Without planning I feel I would be lost. Going on a holiday without an itinerary? Not me! Going shopping without a list? I wouldn’t dream of it!

But life is not about planning every single minute of your day. Life is about enjoying yourself and what you do. Life is about breathing, taking in the World around you, and being at peace with yourself.

And so on.

So I threw out my endless list of chores and focus only on what I want to do rather than feel that I must. I schedule my remaining tasks so that each day leaves plenty of room for unexpected visits, meditation or fitness. Or all of them.

Or none.

Because life is about living. And you can’t plan that.

 

 

 


How could I not? 😉

How do you make sure you don’t get overwhelmed by tasks and chores?


End of Heart Two
Planning versus Relaxing – Heart One appeared on Thursday, November 22nd

9 thoughts on “Planning versus Relaxing – Heart Two (of Two)”

  1. I can understand the enthusiasm while being a busybee. But once you are stressed or feel you are too much pushing the self, just pause and have a deep introspection.
    this is something which I tell my self once in a while

    Liked by 1 person

    1. At those moment I feel my body and mind are out of sync: I want to keep going but my body yearns for rest and relaxation. Experience has taught me the body always wins, though 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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