“Today, act upon your inspirations and hunches” – Random Paper Wisdom
Last week I was angry, because while my Saint John’s Wort improved my mood, it irritated my stomach badly. I had to choose which part got priority: my mental or my physical health. I chose my physical state, but it left me upset: I was just starting to feel better and now it’s back to being grumpy.
I was happy, because someone hired me as their life coach! It was finally happening! But now I am angry because they haven’t paid me yet. And I feel scared: what if they’re never going to?
I feel upset because all my old anxieties of being a loser, a failure, a pushover, have re-emerged from the depths of my soul I thought I had drowned them in forever.
And what if I’m all wrong about this client’s intentions and they’ve simply forgotten?
See, Life, how this all is feed for my insecurities as well?
Eventually, I got upset with myself. For being angry at so many different and silly things. And for not just feeling the anger, but also for making it twirl around in my head, endlessly reminding myself of how I feel.
How far are you on that turning-your-brain-off-switch, Life? Because I am still in need of one!
Finally, I sat down with my new mindfulness-app. That calming voice in my head soothed my anxieties and I took it upon myself to form a plan: find an alternative for the Saint John’s Wort (check), decide how to confront the non-paying customer and what legal actions I can take if they continue to refuse to pay (check), give myself kindness chocolate when I am upset instead of getting angrier (check).
You throw answers our way, Life, in the form of hunches and inspiration. Thank you for the peace you sent me this week.