Light a Candle

One small candle, such big meaning.

I would like to burn this month’s candle for my aunt D.. Or actually, for her daughter, D. My aunt recently phoned me (she never phones!) and was rambling. I couldn’t make any kind of spaghetti from it, but eventually I calmed her down by promising I’d call her daughter. Which I did. She told me my aunt has got Alzheimer’s and is rapidly slipping away mentally. Not a fun position to be in, but very difficult for my cousin as well as she is taking care of her mother all by herself. So this candle is for them.

I also light this one for my crazy sister T., who’s confided something to me she’s very anxious about. I hope things work out for her and I wish her all the strength, love and energy she needs to overcome her demons.

On a greater scale, I wanted to dedicate this candle to every survivor and victim of the forest fires in Greece. But then I saw on the news a few days ago there’s been forest fires in a lot more places, taking people’s lives everywhere. So, definitely not in ill humour, I burn this candle for everyone surviving or having found their end in the fires that have emerged in forests everywhere. I cannot imagine what you must have gone through and my heart and thoughts are with you.

Finally, this candle is for my deceased friend C. and her family. I recently had to buy a new phone and as I was installing it I noticed I lost all my old text messages. I had one saved from C. on my old phone… I couldn’t delete it, I wanted to savour it, but now it’s gone and I am upset about it.
On a brighter note, I keep hearing songs she loved on the radio, making me think about her a lot. And I am still in touch with her father, who even told me I am always welcome to visit him and his wife, as C. and I always called each other our “illegal sister”. So much, much love to C. in the afterlife!

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Who will you burn this month’s candle for?

Earworm of the Week

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Last week The Beach was on TV and my parents wanted to see it. I’d never seen it before (not a big Leo fan – surprise!) so I joined them. The first scene I saw of the film, who by the way I can’t say made a lasting impression on me (not a big Leo fan – surprise!), caused for this song to haunt me.

Haunt me!

For days!!

I even woke up in the middle of the night a few times – I blame the heat – hearing this in my head.

A true Earworm of the Week it is.

Happy Monday! I hope you will all have a wonderful week, with sooooo many less problems than Leo had on and in The Beach.

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What (song) has been keeping you up at night?

Letters to Life (30)

“You read a book and find in it the answer to questions that have long since occupied your mind” – Random paper Wisdom

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Dear Life,

I found out why I have been feeling low: I hate being alone!

For someone who thought she made loneliness look gracious, it comes as a shocking surprise that I don’t function too well on my own.

My parents are currently house-sitting for my sister and you know, Life, how I’ve been looking forward to this! Finally being able to do everything I want!

The kicker is that I don’t know what I want to do!

Not the laundry, that’s for sure…

I’ve been feeling physically low due to the heat. But whenever I meditated, I felt something else was bothering me. Something I’d locked away so deep that I couldn’t touch it.

But tonight it hit me: I hate being alone.

Which, if you ask me, is just another paradox in what I call Samantha’s Whole Being: I dislike being alone, yet I hate being around others, too.

There I was, getting ready for a lonely life. I can’t even count all the times I considered becoming a hermit, convinced I’d be great at it. Now I’m not so sure any more…

All of you, Life, I secretly thought I’d end up alone. Not made to love or be loved. But now you’ve got me thinking: what if there is someone out there for me, and I am actually getting mentally ready to find them?

That thought scares me more than the idea of being lonely. Yet now I know I am not at my best when I am by myself.

I was getting comfortable not having to worry about romance. About facing my commitment fears. I was happy living under my rock…

I know you are all about stepping out of comfort zones, Life, but what if I am not ready for this one?

What if I am?

 

 

 

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What answers have you found (in books) about your life?

Rest In Pieces, For I Shall RIP You Apart (Pun Intended)

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Meet my phone. Or should I say: my most recently deceased phone?

All I wanted to do was set an alarm for when to take my medicine and then send a message to my sister. She and my parents have made some arrangements for this Saturday and they have asked me to tag along, but I can’t. In addition, my parents, who are house-sitting my other sister’s home (and cats. And guinea pigs), need some extra stuff. Like their summer jackets. Because everyone surely needs their jackets in this freaking heat wave!

But okay, whatever they want. I’ve learned to just roll with it. It’s too much hassle to oppose them, plus it’s too hot for that anyway.

My sister (the first one from this story – the one who never received my text message) is to pick up the requested items from my place and bring them with her when she visits my parents.

The reason why I can’t come along is because I have a hot stone massage planned for this Saturday. I know. It’s a heat wave. We do crazy things, it must run in the family!

I have to leave the house around 1pm, so if my sister is late I can’t let her in to have her pick up the stuff my parents requested for their one week holiday at my other sister’s house who’s currently roaming another part of the world and this sentence just seems to keep going on and on and on doesn’t it when does it stop I am too hot so it must be right now.

Bottom line of the story: my sister, who I was trying to text message, is a bit of a talker on the phone. So in order not to be on the phone all evening (my mother called and she’s a talker, too. See my problem? Me, I don’t talk. I write), I decided to send that sister a message.

My phone then decided it was time to pass away. For real. Like, it’s been playing up for a while now, the signs were there. Maybe it finally got too hot. Maybe the sudden outburst of thunder outside scared it to death. Maybe my reaction to the sudden outburst of thunder outside did (YESSSSS, FINALLY!!). Maybe it picked up on my brilliant idea of “buying a dual simcard smart phone when this one dies, so I have a separate phone number for my business.” Maybe it just doesn’t like my sister (it’s the crazy one – hadn’t I mentioned that?).

Whatever the reason, it’s gone. My phone died. RIP phone.

And to make matters worse, I found its old warranty receipt. My phone had the very ill humour of dying almost exactly one month after the warranty wore off!!

Go figure.

I have my phone in pieces now. I hoped jotting the battery out and plopping it back in would help. It didn’t.

Now I feel like it doesn’t deserve to be put back together again, so I’m just going to leave it like this.

And then tomorrow, when, hopefully, my new phone arrives, it’ll be faster for me to gather the pieces I need and create a new walking talk-item with.

Or, you know, a walking write-text-messages-and-time-your-medicine-doses-with-because-you-hardly-ever-really-use-it-properly-but-oh-dear-do-you-miss-it-when-it’s-dead-item.

I hope your weekends are starting off better than mine!

Wednesday Wisdom-Tile

The video of Sunday’s post keeps playing over and over in my head. Probably because I’ve visited the same place last weekend. Most likely the other visitors thought me and my friend were insane, locking ourselves up in our car with 30 degrees Celcius scorching down upon Earth, but we thought exactly the opposite.

You don’t always have to do what others do. Do as you think is wise, without hurting anyone intentionally.

Have a good Wednesday, everyone! And stay maddeningly sane! 😉