“If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of” – Random Paper Wisdom (quote is from Bruce Lee)
Recently, I have been struggling with finding my place and meaning in you, and what bothered me most was my sad excuse for a job.
I know, it pays the bills, but after cleaning houses for years on end, can you blame me for starting to find my work boring?
Then something changed. I am not sure what, exactly, but one day I was screening the internet for the best offer on Rhodiola Rosea Root (which worked magic during my Winter Depression), the next day this apparent solution became futile faster than sunshine can melt snow.
Why? I meditated.
I know, Life, it sounds so simple. But the thing is, I got stuck again in my ways. It happens so often that it’s nearly becoming an MO! I find difficulty in recognising I am malfunctioning, though, that’s why it took me a while before I realised what was wrong.
My “being stuck”-feeling this time was based on the thought that, by default, every peer was doing better than me handling you, Life.
So what broke the spell? Self-compassion. I felt the anger I have inside me towards myself for not being more like my peers, for failing, for being “unsuccessful”. When I grabbed that anger and forgave myself for being a “loser”, I felt it subside.
Self-compassion teaches you to live in the here and now, accept that as a human you are, per definition, imperfect. And most importantly: it teaches you to be kind to yourself.
Three things I didn’t realise I was in desperate need of, Life.
If Bruce Lee is right and time is all we have, then I don’t want to waste mine pouting over everything I don’t have. I want to celebrate you, Life, and everything you offer me.
Be kind, be good. Be happy.
Thank you ❤