Heart to Post

Heart to Post: January in Hindsight – About Setting Goals

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment” – Jim Roth


Did you know I am the Queen of Setting Goals? Not only is this where I flourish as a coach, it is also a personal quality of mine!

I believe there’s only one way forward as a human being, which is growth. And to grow you need to take action. And for you to take effective action, you need clear goals.

Here’s what your goals should be like, at the very least:

SPECIFIC
Be as concrete as possible. What is it that you want to accomplish?

MEASURABLE
Don’t be vague, make sure you know exactly when you’ve reached your goal.

ATTAINABLE
Is the goal acceptable? Is what you’re going to have to put in to reach it, worth the effort? (Money, time, energy, etcetera).

RELEVANT
Is your goal realistic? Will reaching this goal give you what you initially aimed for?

TIMELY
Set a start and deadline for reaching your goal. Make it tangible.

Quite a SMART method, right? 😉

After messing around with too many monthly goals in 2018, I decided to try something different for this year. Every month I work on one goal, something I’ve always wanted to try or think might help me develop as a person.

This post is about my January Goal and how I tackled it.

FOR THE WHOLE OF JANUARY, I DECIDED NOT TO DRINK ANY ALCOHOL

I have a client who does this every year, with no specific reason apart from tradition.

As December rolled to an end, I heard similar stories from other people doing the same. Mostly pensioners, but still.

I thought: why not join them? I always tell everyone I don’t need alcohol to have a good time, yet I consume a glass of wine weekly. I figured: what’s thirty-one days without that worth to me?

Well, a whole lot! I have a weak stomach in the literal sense and it had been playing up. That’s the holidays: I eat too much food despite knowing better and take the effects of that for granted.

On top of that came my increased feelings of stress and POOF! My stomach decided it was enough!

Alcohol is disastrous when you’re being pestered by out-of-control stomach acids, so offering my organ a much needed rest was the most important reason to sign up for this challenge.

I have to admit: I thought it would be more difficult. I traded in my Weekly Wine for a Timeless Tea and was equally happy with it. When going out for dinner I’d simply volunteer to be the designated driver and not drink a drop.

There were a few moments, though, in those thirty-one days that left me longing for liquor: stress is a huge stressor for alcohol usage in my case. I didn’t falter, though.

I only “failed” on two minor occasions, after munching on tiramisu. But the alcohol percentage in that dessert is so low I am happy to call this monthly goal a 100% success!

Did you set goals for 2019? What are they and how do you work towards them? Let me know in the comments!

 

 

 


Heart to Post

Heart Warmer

Maybe you already know about this Heart Warmer, but stories of true friendships never cease to be amazing so I had to share this.

The Australian Poss and Molly found a true friend in each other. One was lonely because she had just lost her entire litter, the other had lost her mummy and was in desperate need of someone to take care of her.

That’s right: neither Molly nor Poss is human. The first is a beagle and the latter is a possum! Nevertheless, they seem inseparable:

The two adorable yet completely different creatures found love, support and friendship in each other! Since possums are nocturnal animals, Poss is usually asleep during the day, but her foster mummy is never too far out of sight. And at night, Molly’s owners often spot their beagle and its new best friend roaming around the property together.

Cute can’t get any more super than this!

Not convinced yet? Watch the following video:

(Video won’t load? Go here to watch it)

Wishing you all a heart warming week, with lots of time to spare with your friends ❤

 

 

 


If you want to read more about Poss and Molly’s story, please go here
Letters to Life

Letters to Life (50)

“I shall pass this way but once; any good that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again”Random Paper Wisdom (actual quote is from Etienne de Grellet)


Dear Life,

Sometimes I stare so hard at the distractions on my way, I miss the mirror you hold in front of me.

It’s as if you’re a delivery man, neatly placing parcels in front of my house and ringing my doorbell. By the time I open, everything I asked for is in front of me, yet I don’t see it until I step outside and nearly break my neck over it.

As you know, Life, I regularly draw a rune to “help me along my way”. This time I picked Thurisaz, the rune for protection and justice.

Thurisaz is said to be able to show you your shadow sides: traits, talents, characteristics you rather not acknowledge in yourself.

In a few days, I’ve met jealousy (how come my sister has a new boyfriend already?), dependence (my dad waiting for me to make his breakfast), and prejudice (my mother assuming my good friend’s parents voted for our lousy prime minister, because they’re richer). Just to name a few.

You see, whenever you encounter someone expressing behaviour that sickens you, they actually portray a hidden side of you that you have locked away. Something from your personal shadow side suddenly slaps you in the face in the form of someone else’s behaviour.

The usual response is to angrily push that side of us even further down, but let’s try to relent and reflect on what this says about us. Is it bad to be jealous, dependent or prejudiced (sometimes)? Why can’t we accept ourselves for who we are, our bad sides included?

Nobody is perfect, Life, but nobody is incomplete, either. We all have all traits, good and bad, and we need them to be whole. And if we miss something, you’ll make sure to deliver it to us.

Right onto our doorsteps.

Heart to Post

Heart to Post: About The Biggest Battle Ever – Ten Years Later

“Pessimism never won any battles”Dwight D. Eisenhower

 


Ten years ago I sat in an arm chair at my godmother’s house, feeling all kinds of emotions but none of them related to any form of happiness.

I was trying to imagine what the World would look like after my depression was over. Would it actually ever be over? Could that be possible?

Was it a mere fantasy to think I could stop feeling and behaving the way my depression made me feel and behave?

Was there an escape possible from that seemingly everlasting sense of doom, doubt and depression? Was there? What would that feel like?

I couldn’t imagine what it would be like. Not at all. Ten years ago, in that arm chair, I was nothing but afraid. Terrified of myself and what I was capable of, which was nothing good to anyone and a whole lot of bad towards myself. Terrified of the path I had chosen: instead of following Plan A and opting out of life, I followed Plan B and actually made it onto a psychologist’s list of clients.

A real psychologist. Someone trained to help people like me shake off their depression and live a happy life instead. She was sure to fix me up, right?

In that arm chair, I wasn’t sure. My biggest fear was to be a lost cause. What if I couldn’t be fixed?

That was ten years ago.

I was going through some old papers a while back and found a letter my psychologist had written about my therapy. I took a look at the date and felt a shock go through me like a lightning bolt.

Ten years. It’s been ten years since my depression! I mean, I knew my anniversary was coming up, I just didn’t know it was going to happen in 2019!

If I could go back in time, I would visit that young, miserable, scared version of myself in that arm chair. I’d hug her and tell her she made the right decision. That there is nothing to be afraid of, because the biggest battle back then was already won: she chose life. She chose fighting over giving up. She chose to visit the darker parts of her soul, stare her depression right in the face and make it whimper off eventually.

I already had the battle in my pocket, yet it would take me ten years to realise that.

Ten years… I can’t put into words how happy I am to be here today, nor how proud I am of myself!

Proud of surviving. Proud of fighting for myself. Proud of the growth I’ve experience in ten year’s time! Proud of becoming me. And proudest of all for embracing my past, rather than stuffing it away in the most hidden corners of my mind.

For ten years now, I’ve been depression-free! Even now, when my old demons occasionally decide to pay me a visit, I know I’ll make it through.

Because I’ve been doing so for ten years.

Let’s add another ten to that! ❤

 

 

 


What’s your success story of 2019? What will you be celebrating?