Status Update

About Inferiority Complexes, Stubborn Pets & Stressful Sisters

Status Update

It’s like I have the same song on repeat in my head, a broken record: I must blog more. I must make a new schedule. I must not fail.

I keep saying sorry for being too busy or too stressed and this, unfortunately, is nothing short of another such a message.

First things first…

Okay, so I have not yet conquered my inferiority complex. I thought I had, but I haven’t. And it made me feel very bad for the past couple of weeks, so bad I felt like throwing in the towel. What’s the point of trying to fight something that, eventually, keeps popping back up again?

Of course, I’ve already travelled a long, long way to get to where I am today. And just because I am not quite as near to the finish line as I thought I was, does it mean I should give up. It doesn’t. It was merely a wake-up call to show me I am not there yet, but I am on my way. So I need a breather and get my mindset back to positive. And this takes time away from blogging.

…And then there were…

Gerbils come with a lot of drama, did you know? For real though: they’re worse than cats or dogs.

One of my pet gerbils has managed to catch a wound below his left ear. It was nothing bigger than the prick of a needle in size, but the stupid animal kept scratching it open, enlarging the wound enormously. Seriously, it’s at least 15 times bigger now!

And nothing helps, either! The vet taped in his hind leg so he couldn’t use it to scratch, but by the time we got home Mister Darwin had already undone himself of that hindrance. So step two was to give him some kind of a neck brace, made out of an egg box:

Yeah… that lasted for about ten minutes. And in the mean time he keeps scratching at his wound! Every time it looks like it’s about to heal properly, Darwin scratches it back open and makes it worse!

My next move was to go back to the vet and get a honey-based cream, which is supposed to speed up the natural healing process. But the cream smells funny and makes the wound itch so… You get where I’m going with this, right?

Eventually, I gave Darwin another neck brace (this time one made of stretchable fabric and band-aid so I could adjust its size), as well as a taped-in hind leg. Result: after going through several lengths to get the neck brace off (one of them included faking to choke – not lying! He had more than enough room left to breathe, I checked), Darwin found out that if he just covered the band-aid with enough sand from his sand bath, the glue failed to work and voila! Easy escape.

After the neck brace his attention swiftly turned to his hind leg and I’m pretty sure he broke his own personal record at getting free.

Eventual result: Darwin now misses a few hairs in his neck and may or may not have gotten an accidental wax on his left hind leg from where he pulled free from his hind-leg-hindrance. His initial wound is still there, as annoying as ever, and he keeps scratching at it and making it bigger, while I am reluctant to give up and keep smearing honey balm on it.

I swear my gerbils are out to drive me crazy!

…And finally

Oh dear Universe… my eldest sister is a mess. She’s in a fight over custody of her children with her psycho ex, while simultaneously holding dinner parties, booking vacations, falling behind on her work, taking her kids to multiple museums on multiple days and hosting game nights with friends.

Did I tell you she’s already got a new boyfriend? No? How about adding to that I am the only person who knows about this? And that my parents are fully convinced she’s given up on men in general since her ex is such a narcissistic ***hole? And how I feel guilty towards my parents for not telling them, yet I refuse to tell them since it’s my sister’s business? (Plus I don’t want to be the one having to take in all the crap my parents will spill when they do find out).

The worries about my sister trouble the minds of my parents deeply. And mine, too. Double, actually, because on top of my own worries about the whole situation I am kindly delivered my parents’ worries as well. So my shoulders are double loaded.

Good thing my shoulders are awesome and strong.

Anyway, that’s the three main reasons why I’ve been slacking off on here, lately. I used to be so on top of things, not only writing frequently but also making sure to read up on everyone’s posts as well. I miss that 😦

I am sorry I don’t have the time for all that right now. I keep promising to better myself, but honestly I don’t know how to pick things up. I suppose that’s because I have other priorities right now. But fact is I love being on here, and I love the little community I feel part of, so I will be back.

Occasionally at first, probably. And hopefully full-time when things get better. I know they will 🙂

 

Heart to Post

Heart Warmer


This Heart Warmer truly does what it’s picked for: warm your heart.

Chloe Meineck has developed a Music Memory Box which helps people with dementia to… live again. And laugh and enjoy themselves and for brief moments, get lost in lovely memories of moments long passed, but forever cherished.

How it works? Family members can gather photos and items with lots of emotional meaning for their loved one with dementia, and add computerised chips to them. These chips/items, by putting them in the centre of the box, can then each be linked to a certain song, so when next placed there that same song will play.

And these songs have remarkable effects on the person with dementia. Someone even described using the box on her mother as: “When we use the box, we get her back for a moment.”

Inspiration for this box came when Chloe noticed how her demented great-grandmother would suddenly open up and reminisce over her past when certain songs were played in her nursing home. Chloe’s great-grandmother would seemingly come alive again, sing along to the songs and tell stories of her past.

Watch the full story here:

We should never underestimate the effect music can have on our minds, bodies and souls. And in this case: our memories.

I wish I could have had a box like this when my grandfather was still alive. All the stories he could have told me or those stolen moments won back again, even for just a fraction of time ❤ I am happy more and more people can benefit from this!

I wish you all a warm, happy and musically filled week!

 

 

 


If you want to read more about this wonderful story or learn more about the Music Memory Box, please go here
Letters to Life

Letters to Life (52)

“Cherish each other’s imperfections, for these are what make us unique”Random Paper Wisdom


Dear Life,

You collaborated with Time this week. After all: Life and Time go hand in hand.

I had my final session with my difficult client.

I can say many things about this person, but I won’t. All I’ll spill is that we were not a good team in this set-up, but I suspect they’re a nice person all-in-all.

Afterwards I met with the keeper of the building. She’s also a coach and I ventured to get some tips from her on how to deal with future pesky clients.

Instead, this woman gave me much more than tips, Life. She asked some serious questions, such as why I’d let this client denigrate me. And how explaining the client was in full resistance was an excuse to justify their misbehaviour.

What happened next was the cold realisation that I have yet to overcome my inferiority complex. The same one that’s been haunting me for nearly 32 years now, Life. The same one I thought I’d already successfully battled!

Turns out pieces of it occasionally still seep through. Especially when I feel belittled.

As I went home, not relieved as I thought I’d be but bummed out that my self-image-related battles are not over yet, you made another thing or two clear to me, Life:

Firstly, that this inferiority complex weighs me down so much so, I physically feel exhausted! After I realised this, part of that exhaustion immediately evaporated.

Secondly, that some people went out of their way to comfort me: “Just a year ago you were a completely different person, look at the progress you’ve made!”

I am appreciated, no matter how inferior I sometimes feel.

A inferiority complex is called that because it’s complex. It needs time to heal. And life experience to be overcome.

Life and Time. Because you go hand in hand.


Letters to Life

Letters to Life (51)

“You are full of awareness and enjoy everything you have and don’t bewail what you do not have”Random Paper Wisdom


Dear Life,

You suck.

Well, you don’t and you know it. But sometimes I just wish you were a little easier on me.

Last week I got a new hormonal shot (no, not trying to get pregnant – trying to avoid going to war with my hormones again) and this always makes me a little… emotional.

(I was going to write “hormonal” but that just seemed a pun too obvious to make)

Anyway, not feeling my greatest, I found out that I have the power to set the mood at home. When I spill my toxins in a verbal manner, my mother is quick to take over and spill even more of her own. My dad likewise.

When I am happy and set a lighter mood, my parents soak up that energy as well and reciprocate. Maybe you’d say that’s how it works with moods, Life, but I find I am less and less affected by how others act.

But tomorrow… I have a horrible coaching client. They’re really the worst!

Secretly they’re not, though. I know this person acts out because of fear. Fear of what they might find if they’d actually look at their inner selves. It’s easier to denigrate the person in front of you than to admit that maybe you are the one being wrong.

I very much have mixed feelings over tomorrow: I really don’t want to see this person ever again, but I also know it’s the last session we have together. And I plan to celebrate.

But in order to get to the sweet part, I have to bite my way through that sour apple first. What’s that saying? “You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs.”

Life, be kind tomorrow. Make sure my hormones stay quiet enough for me to refrain from becoming verbally violent.

So that I can enjoy my nice clients and not mourn over never having to see this awful one. Ever. Again.