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About My Do’s And Dont’s – Happy 35th!

I had an amazing birthday, just what I wanted. Solitude, quiet, mooing cows, cold yet sunny weather followed by a thunderstorm – loved every second of it! Happy 35th here I am! Or not…?

For me, a spiritual and existential crisis is the same thing in that your foundation gets rocked

• Juliette Lewis •


Two weeks ago I turned 35.

One week and six days ago I slipped into an existential crisis.

Which didn’t surprise me at first, because usually I have one every month. But this one has stuck with me well into the first few weeks of my 35 years of existence.

What happened, you ask?

The answer to that is a disappointing: nothing. Nothing happened!

In 35 years little to nothing happened.

Here I’ve been, waiting for life to knock on my door and take me out, and I’m still stuck inside.

So, some things have to change. And I know I am the only one who can do that.

For starters, here’s a list of Samantha To-Do’s and To-Don’t, just to set the record straight.

I mean, it’s nice how I keep adjusting myself to how others perceive me, but I now understand that how you perceive me is not my problem. And the part where a lot of people make it my problem is going to change.

Right now 🙂

So I’m going to throw a few things your way to take into account about my personal being.

My 35-year-old-possibly-having-a-midlife-crisis-if-not-an-existential-one-being.

Please note: I am not angry or upset at you, I am just a little disappointed in my life as is right now. And to make changes, I have to start somewhere.

Here goes:

Samantha Please-Dont’s

Look at my picture ↑

Yes, that’s right: that’s me. Don’t believe it? Look at it again. Go ahead, this isn’t part of the “To Don’t’s” yet!

Here’s what is part of my Please Don’t’s:

  • DO NOT ASSUME I AM STUPID
    Yes, I am blonde. Yes, I have blue eyes. And yes, even if you cannot see it in this picture, I have curves. Very pretty curves, if I may say so myself. None of those facts make me stupid. In fact, my With Distinction Master degree from university, my impeccable talent for writing harsh yet getting-things-done-ASAP letters of complaint and almost infallible memory (especially trained in remembering seemingly useless facts that WILL help greatly during any pub quiz) make me SMART. Probably smarter than you, if you think that my looks define my brains.
  • DO NOT TRY TO CONVERT ME
    I do not believe in God. Any God. Nor will I ever. So please please please stop posting comments to try and convert me to any kind of religion (it happens on a regular basis – my SPAM filters them out). I am not interested, nor do I feel that reading the Bible or talking to God about my problems will help set me free. Leave me alone.
    Please do not get me wrong: I have many friends on and off WordPress who are religious. I love them for it. I respect their faith, enjoy their blogs and like them as persons. It’s possible to not share in such a major thing and still get along. Because we respect each other, regardless of who or what we believe in.
    I would never tell someone else how to live their lives, so please refrain from doing that to me.
  • DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE ME
    I know I look adorable, innocent and possibly a bit goofy. I know I try to act kind to everyone and adjust myself to situations and people faster than my youngest niece can finish her bottle of milk (and she’s fast!). I know in my family, people tend to treat me like a fool, but really: I am not (see the first point up there).
    Just because I am stuck in my life right now, doesn’t mean I’ll never get out. I am working on that. And just because I chose not to follow the same path as many people around me, doesn’t mean I am a loser. I am not. I am a fighter.
    And if you ever try to bring me down (again – in some cases this is an “again”), you’ll find out how good a fighter I have become in the last 35 years.

Samantha Please-Do’s

  • CONNECT WITH ME
    I am easy to talk to, I promise! Even if I will never win a gold medal for keeping in touch, I will never NOT respond (as long as you don’t try to convert me or chat me up, that is. I will most definitely ignore you if you attempt either of that).
    Sometimes I can get a bit lonely, during this pandemic even more so, and it’s always nice to meet new people. So: please do comment and connect with me.
  • HELP ME GROW
    My goodness am I stuck! Even if I am not really asking for advice on how to live my life, I do like to hear how other people go about living theirs. You know, for inspiration. How did you find a decent job? How did you find the love of your life? How are you climbing yourself out of that well you might have been stuck in for a while? The HOW is very important to me, because me being stuck is based on a lack of knowing HOW to move forward. Inspire me with your stories, your decisions, your life, and I’ll share with you mine.
  • BELIEVE IN ME
    I know I struggle with believing in myself sometimes, but it helps when other people do that for me. To get me back on track. I feel I am a “don’t judge a book by its cover”-kind of person, and it would help me a great deal if you’d not just pass me over because you don’t like how the story doesn’t seem to fit the cover it comes in.
    I can be anyone’s greatest cheerleader, but for myself I sometimes lack the faith. If you could boost me every once in a while, you’ll find it worth your time and investment as I’ll give it back double – at least!

That’s basically what my 35th life year brought me in terms of wanting: I want people to stop treating me like someone who’s dumb and easy to shape into something they feel I should be.

And I want to surround myself with more and more people like myself: respectful, kind, curious and welcoming.

If I manage to pull that off, I think my 36th will come without an existential crisis and with a lot more love, laughter and warmth.

Thanks for reading 🙂 Be sure to leave a comment (without trying to convert or date me) below


29 thoughts on “About My Do’s And Dont’s – Happy 35th!”

  1. I believe in you, Sam! I also believe I am incredibly, ridiculously late with this comment and I am very sorry!

    “I do not believe in God. Any God. Nor will I ever.” – Amen to that! I’ve had this quite a bit, too. I go with the flow and be gracious when scripture is sent, but I am not comfortable with it being shoved down my throat, to be asked why I don’t believe in God and why I’m willing to risk going to hell as a result, etc. Differing believes can still get along just fine, if you accept each other’s position.

    As for nothing happening in those 35yrs, I would say you’re already leaps and bounds ahead of me but it won’t change how you feel. I feel the same, and it’s not a nice feeling at all. But I do think the social nudging towards “achievement” and doing certain things by a particular age are rather skewed. I think you’re doing just great as you are, and I have no doubt you are capable and compassionate enough to find contentment and do whatever you want to do in the time to come.

    🥳🥳🥳 HaPpY bIrThDaY!!! 🥳🥳🥳

    Caz xxxx

    Like

  2. Great post, Sam. I could not have said that any better for my self. I think you are headed in the right direction and will eventually achieve your goals. I believe this whole heartedly, though like you, it it’s harder to believe for myself. Never give up. Sounds like you have a great 35th birthday. BTW, Happy Belated!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Happy belated birthday Samantha an interesting post from a fellow scorpio. Lots of scorpio people blog I’ve found. Your lovely blonde avatar invited me to come to your blog so theres a positive for being blonde :). Best wishes Charlotte

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Best birthday wishes, Samantha! MANY HAPPY RETURNS. Here is a quote from a Star Wars movie that proved a conundrum for me, but has been very productive over the years. “Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.” I hope it provides you with some comfort.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. A belated happy birthday! Am I’m glad that you visited my blog and liked me posts–it helps quiet that insecure inner voice that whispers that I’m one of the people who has annoyed and upset you. I’m glad that we have been online friends for so long. I respect and treasure your intelligence, your wit, and your creativity. I’m for the struggles you have at times with family and with other people, and the existential crises that happen from time to time. As a friend, you know that if you ask me about my source of strength or inner peace, that I will mention my faith in Christ. And, as a friend, I do wish I could share some of that with you. (Be careful about saying never 😜). But I respect you for being the person that you are, and I enjoy our exchanges of thoughts online. J.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, you have never annoyed me, J. There is a great difference between being yourself and being obtrusive. Your faith is a part of you and I love reading about it. I love it even more that you don’t force what you believe in upon others.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you, Samantha. Even after I wrote and sent that comment last night, my insecure brain continued to replay the thought that I had offended you in some way, to the point that I was actually defending to myself things I might have said (but was pretty sure I never did say). My burden is finally lifted. J.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Regarding don’t: 1) No one really things blondes are stupid. Blonde is a very popular hair dye. 2) No one ever changed anyone’s mind about anything. The wise know this and don’t bother trying. As for 3) Everyone is under estimated. Sorry, I will not be around to see the next 35; but I believe you will do very well Samantha.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, you don’t want to know how many people would (subconsciously) disagree with you on no.1. Judging from how a lot of people treat me. Also, a friend of mine once confided people started speaking more normal to her once she died her hair a darker tone. They also asked to see her supervisor less and refrained from speaking extra slow to her. Sad but true.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Happy 35th year! I’m so glad you had the birthday you wanted!
    As for the existential crisis, I don’t think you’re alone in that. It was a jolly good idea to write those lists – I think I might do that for my birthday (if I’m not caught up in an existential crisis😂). The blonde stereotype is so senseless I can’t believe people still think that.
    I hope you have a happy and successful year!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, D! I just got so fed up after another comment someone submitted about how I should change my life to their likings. It went down the wrong way. Then someone else treated me as if I am empty inside because I’m blonde on the outside… Oof! I did not have a good 2 weeks, lol. But slowly getting out of the gloom. When’s your birthday? I hope yours will be as perfect as mine (and without the crisis to follow).

      Like

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