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About All Kinds Of Emotions & One Kind Of Remedy

“My moods are like a roller coaster. It’s hard for me to just feel one way all the time”Tierra Whack

 

This week, my To Do List topped:  Strangle my gynaecologist.

I am not an aggressive person and I don’t believe in using violence to solve a problem, but I can honestly say that if I had seen that woman sometime during last Monday or the days following, she would have had an incredibly hard time getting away from me without a scratch. Or two.

For those of you who don’t know me (too) well: I’ve been having severe weekly nausea attacks combined with all kinds of physical craziness for the unhappy period of about nine months, ever since I stopped taking the pill. For the full story I suggest you browse older posts as I am done with that chapter of my life.

Anyway, the gynaecologist already mentioned concluded my cries for help with: “it’s definitely not the hormones”, that it was “all in my head” and that I should go and “talk to someone about it.”

Very long story very short: I talked to someone about it. It’s not in my head.  And last Monday I found out my physical maladies ARE 100% hormonal!

AND THERE IS A REMEDY!

Thank goodness for Google being brilliant and my low blood pressure being persistent, because the combination of the latter with PMS in the almighty search box gave me what I’ve secretly been craving for nine months: a possible cure.

Vitex agnus castus  (monk’s pepper) is a homeopathical supplement that is used to help women balance out their hormones.

Vitex Agnus Castus or Monk’s Pepper is often used to help women deal with physical complaints due to hormonal disbalances

Can you imagine how upset I was to learn I’ve been sick more on than off for three quarters of a year while this stuff was out there already, making women like me feel better every day!?

That, basically, I’ve been sick for no reason? That my physical problems could have been prevented?

I fully realise that a homeopathic supplement is a “natural remedy,” which are hardly ever recognised by regular health care. And that even if it works wonders on countless women worldwide, it might not do anything for me, personally.

But I still went and bought two bottles of it right away!

The reason why Monday made me angry enough to want to strangle my gynaecologist is mostly because I was so relieved to find this possible remedy. To me, it was proof that I am not crazy and this is a real thing!

Then the sadness hit me because I started counting back the nine months since I got sick, all which might have been prevented if only I’d known about this sooner…

And I have been really sick. Despite no longer grounding me to my bed or returning weekly, the nausea attacks still creep up on me regularly and drain my energy in total. So yes, sadness for all that’s happened.

But… if Monday was a dark roller-coaster, Tuesday left no doubt in what I felt: happiness, because my package arrived within 24 hours of ordering Monk’s Pepper, and hopefulness that mine, too, will turn into a success story!

To Do List: Strangle my gynaecologist Tackle my hormones once and for all.

 

 

 

 

What was on your To Do List this week? How did you go about that?

Heart to Post

About Heaps Of Money & Leaps Of Faith

To quote a certain blonde pop singer I was a huge fan of at ages 12-14: “It’s been a while. I know I shouldn’t have kept you waiting, but I’m here now.”

(In case of any doubt: yes, I mean Britney Spears)

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged or spent enough time reading your blogs, but I am here now 🙂


A few weeks ago my mother came to me and told me about a nightmare she’d had: her and my father had died, my sisters had insisted on selling the house and I had ended up spending the rest of my life living in a cardboard box.

My mother has since repeated this fear to me with increasing anxiety, as she’s convinced it will come true.

What my mother is incredibly good at, is 1) projecting fears onto people and 2) blaming them for it.

Her SUPER POWER, however, is making people who already feel bad feel WORSE.

I’ve been feeling like such a failure for months on end now, because my business is not picking up. It’s gotten to a point where I can honestly say it’s doing as bad as any decent doom scenario: I am losing money. I have bills to pay and make no income. Can’t get worse than that, right?

After my mother’s nightmare talk (pun intended) my dread grew worse and I picked up my phone to start looking for a 9-5 job immediately.

If anyone of you has ever read Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist, you might recognise the lesson to “listen to what you heart has to say” when I write that my heart ached as I clicked on a job opening for a pharmaceutical packer.

I don’t know what a pharmaceutical packer does exactly, but I do know they make way more money than me – but so does the rest of the World right now, I imagine.

My heart almost literally hurt when I clicked on job description after job description and I eventually caved; I don’t want to just give up on my coaching business until I’ve at least really tried to make it work!

So I did the unthinkable and hired a business/marketing coach.

It cost me almost the remainder of my savings, but after netting a 30 minute free “strategy session” that turned into a 90 minute excited talk about passions and how to deal with the marketing aspects of a business, I dare say me and the marketing coach really clicked. I enrolled in her marketing programme that starts in September and she’s immediately given me access to all her online trainings (that are quite impressive in number – and success rates!).

Taking this step, this risk, scares me witless. What if my investment won’t pay off? My bank account will hit 0 sooner than my mum can make curtains for my cardboard box! But… If I don’t do this, then the results will inevitably be the same.

I understand my mother, I know she’s only worried. I am the first person in our family to try and start their own business and therefore I am not related to anyone who can relate (you’ve got to admire that sentence!).

But I have to do this… As painful as the confrontation with my mother was, seeing that money disappear onto someone else’s account was strangely liberating. I am actually going to do this. I am going to give it a massive, honest, passionate try! With almost literally everything I got!

With that, I felt my heart rejoice. If it doesn’t scare you, it’s not worth doing, right?

I hope that’s right.

I’ve given myself a year to get on my financial feet. If after that time it didn’t happen, I’ll gladly take that cardboard box from my mother’s nightmare.

And use it to do whatever pharmaceutical packers do.

 

 

 

 

What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done? How did that work out for you?

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HEART TO POST – About Coughing In Elbows And Being On National Lock-Down

“If courage is contagious, ignorance is pandemic”Unknown

So this is what the apocalypse looks like: empty streets, empty shelves, empty conversations. All I hear is corona this and corona that, increasing people’s fears for this invisible fiend or the contrary – my mother, for instance, is convinced it’s all a storm in a teacup.

Last Saturday I went jogging and I found myself either alone in an otherwise busy place or with people avoiding one another. One man walking his dog even crossed the street the moment he saw me heading towards him. Are we collectively losing our minds or are we being careful?

Or both?

My country is on lock-down, as most other nations are, too. This is day 3 of the National Quarantine.

These are the rules:

  • Stay at home if you show signs of a cold or the flu
  • Do not go somewhere unless you really need to
  • Work from home if possible
  • Businesses and schools are closed
  • Don’t meet up with friends or go on outings
  • All events with more than 100 people are cancelled or forbidden
  • Cough or sneeze into your elbow (just don’t forget not to cross your arms afterwards)
  • Wash your hands after pretty much everything you do and do so for at least 20 seconds
  • Don’t hamster food (which is the Dutch verb for hoarding, but I like the sound of it so there you go! You just learned some Dutch!)
  • Don’t visit people who are more at risk, such as elderly people or people already sick

My Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday clients cancelled due to colds or fevers. This morning, I started coughing and had a sneeze-session of 6 in a row (a new record), so I cancelled my Thursday and Friday clients as well. I don’t think I have corona, but I don’t want to risk getting anyone sick if I have. Considering most of my clients are 70 or above… I pass.

I am scared, yet fascinated. As my cousin said it: “This, by far, is the most bizarre thing I’ve ever witnessed in my entire life.” I feel like we’re all in this together, but at the same time handling it differently. This virus is connecting everyone in the World, as we’re all dealing with the same “enemy”, yet it divides us because we’re scared to catch it off one another.

I just feel like posing a few questions here to raise awareness, keep each other hopeful and maybe even laugh a little.

So:

  • What is your country’s take on COVID-19?
  • What’s been happening where you live?
  • How do you deal with it?
  • How does corona affect your life and the lives of those around you?
  • How do you think all of this will turn out?

Anything you want to get off your chest corona-wise? Let me know in the comments ↓↓↓ Let’s discuss this. It’s not like we’ve got anything better to do, what with all the lock-downs and all… 😉

Please stay healthy and positive, everyone ❤ ❤

Heart to Post

HEART TO POST – How Fear Can Help You To Focus

“The brain may be regarded as a kind of parasite of the organism, a pensioner, as it were, who dwells with the body”Arthur Schopenhauer

Sometimes I fear I have a parasite, while in fact I know I don’t.

Do you recognise this? Maybe not the parasite part (at least I hope you don’t!), but what about that panicky feeling that rises when your health might be in danger?

I know I overthink. I know I over-worry. I know I get crazy at times and let that craze carry me away a little too far.

I know ALL this, yet I can’t stop it from happening occasionally.

It’s the struggle between thinking and feeling. How do you know if your mind is right? And how do you know it isn’t?

As far as parasites go, there are empiric ways to verify if your mind is pulling one on you or not. And I am happy to say my gut feeling’s always been right about this one so far (“You got nada”).

But what about the more important matters in life?

For instance, I was excited when I decided to simmer my business-building activities and focus on boiling out my health issues first. But even if I currently put in minimal work regarding my coaching escapades they still eat away at me by telling my head what I do is not enough.

I know I made the right decision – you cannot take care of others if you don’t function properly yourself – but sometimes it feels as if I didn’t.

I guess the trick is to find a certain balance between your head and your heart in everything you do.

And when that doesn’t stop your inner critic from complaining, tell it you’ve possibly got a parasite. See how quickly that shuts the little sucker up 😉

I’m kidding! Parasites are not funny. But the fear of having one swiftly put my mind back into priority-mode.

First things first. Always.

My health comes first. Always.

 

Heart to Post

HEART TO POST – From A Secret Admirer To Her Secret Cellist: A Lyrical Letter

“One good thing about music: when it hits you, you feel no pain”Bob Marley

Dear secret cellist hiding in my street: you need to practice more.

Your notes sound off-tune and you cannot play a recognisable song decently. The force behind your strokes is unbalanced and they often sound weak, as if you miss the willpower to show your musical instrument who’s in charge. The melodies you play are too light and easily hide behind the Summer winds or go astray in the Autumn skies, fleeing upwards, eager to escape their earthbound destiny.

And their destiny, I am sure, is to make my heart beat with happiness.

Hearing you play makes me want to close my eyes in silent rejoice, letting your music fill my soul with an instant happiness and a gratefulness for being under your spell.

The colours of your music find their way into my head and heart, pushing out every bad memory of the day, week or even the year. For when I hear you practice, I lose track of my burdens and my only desire is to enjoy!

To me, it doesn’t matter you restart countless times in order to get it right. It doesn’t bother me that the music notes coming my way are muffled through numerous walls or are impurified by traffic noise in the background. The sweet sound of your cello makes up for everything. Even if it’s merely a hint, a glimmer I catch of it, it leaves me longing for more.

The first time I heard you practice was on a lovely Summer day and I can’t descrive how delighted I was when I first recognised the deep, warm sounds of your cello. You made my day perfect and I was quick enough to discard my book, lean back and close my eyes, thinking only how lucky I was for having someone who would undoubtedly play my favourite instrument often and make my heart sing equally frequently.

However, the second time I heard you practice was only a few days ago. Through my bathroom wall the faint remainders of the notes you must have been playing a few doors down waltzed in. I don’t even remember what I was doing, because the moment my ears picked up on your exercise, that’s all that mattered. Pure joy.

It’s the simplest things in life that cause the most happiness and you working to grow your talent is one of my happy flaws, I am ready to admit.

So yes, your notes are unbalanced and your strokes sound weak. Your melodies easily escape into thin air, but they are never quick enough to escape my ears. And even if you have a long, long road ahead of you of becoming better and better still, I like what I hear. I like how you make me feel.

Unknowingly, you make me a happier person. And there is always room for more happiness in my life. Therefore, I appeal to you:

Dear secret cellist hiding in my street: you need to practice more.