Letters to Life

Letters to Life (64)

“Don’t stumble over something behind you”Seneca the Younger

Dear Life,

Old habits die hard, or so they say. I am afraid this might be true, as I find myself still questioning almost every move I make as if everyone else has been given the almighty power to weigh me – and possibly find me too light.

What has come over me? I wish I knew what drives that part of me, as I am the first to tell anyone either willing or unwilling to listen that other’s opinions are just that: opinions. If somebody thinks what you did was stupid, it does not make you a stupid person. It just means you did something considered silly by someone else.

Two things happened this week that caused me to experience a few moments of self-doubt: First, I raised my wages for coaching. Although this made me feel a bit icky, it also felt right. I was able to rationalise my move and thus feel okay about it.

Second, I didn’t dare to share that weekly success in my coaching community. Why? I was too scared somebody would travel to my website, take a peek at my new wages, then make the journey back to their keyboard just to tell me I am not worth my prices.

For thirty-plus years I’ve lived in constant fear of somebody telling me I am not worth it, Life.

That has to stop. From this day forward, I am going to show myself the love and attention I am worth. I am going to actively appreciate myself for the next seven days at least (and then some).

Feeling worthless is like a dress that no longer suits me; I’ve outgrown it. It’s old and worn-down and I am tired of the way it looks on me.

I’m going to replace it, Life, finally. Because I AM worth it 🙂

Are you aware you are a worthy being? Or are you still figuring it out (like me)? Let me know in a comment! ↓↓

Heart to Post

About All Kinds Of Emotions & One Kind Of Remedy

“My moods are like a roller coaster. It’s hard for me to just feel one way all the time”Tierra Whack

 

This week, my To Do List topped:  Strangle my gynaecologist.

I am not an aggressive person and I don’t believe in using violence to solve a problem, but I can honestly say that if I had seen that woman sometime during last Monday or the days following, she would have had an incredibly hard time getting away from me without a scratch. Or two.

For those of you who don’t know me (too) well: I’ve been having severe weekly nausea attacks combined with all kinds of physical craziness for the unhappy period of about nine months, ever since I stopped taking the pill. For the full story I suggest you browse older posts as I am done with that chapter of my life.

Anyway, the gynaecologist already mentioned concluded my cries for help with: “it’s definitely not the hormones”, that it was “all in my head” and that I should go and “talk to someone about it.”

Very long story very short: I talked to someone about it. It’s not in my head.  And last Monday I found out my physical maladies ARE 100% hormonal!

AND THERE IS A REMEDY!

Thank goodness for Google being brilliant and my low blood pressure being persistent, because the combination of the latter with PMS in the almighty search box gave me what I’ve secretly been craving for nine months: a possible cure.

Vitex agnus castus  (monk’s pepper) is a homeopathical supplement that is used to help women balance out their hormones.

Vitex Agnus Castus or Monk’s Pepper is often used to help women deal with physical complaints due to hormonal disbalances

Can you imagine how upset I was to learn I’ve been sick more on than off for three quarters of a year while this stuff was out there already, making women like me feel better every day!?

That, basically, I’ve been sick for no reason? That my physical problems could have been prevented?

I fully realise that a homeopathic supplement is a “natural remedy,” which are hardly ever recognised by regular health care. And that even if it works wonders on countless women worldwide, it might not do anything for me, personally.

But I still went and bought two bottles of it right away!

The reason why Monday made me angry enough to want to strangle my gynaecologist is mostly because I was so relieved to find this possible remedy. To me, it was proof that I am not crazy and this is a real thing!

Then the sadness hit me because I started counting back the nine months since I got sick, all which might have been prevented if only I’d known about this sooner…

And I have been really sick. Despite no longer grounding me to my bed or returning weekly, the nausea attacks still creep up on me regularly and drain my energy in total. So yes, sadness for all that’s happened.

But… if Monday was a dark roller-coaster, Tuesday left no doubt in what I felt: happiness, because my package arrived within 24 hours of ordering Monk’s Pepper, and hopefulness that mine, too, will turn into a success story!

To Do List: Strangle my gynaecologist Tackle my hormones once and for all.

 

 

 

 

What was on your To Do List this week? How did you go about that?

Letters to Life

Letters to Life (63)

“My only competition is the person I was yesterday”Unknown

Dear Life,

Psychology class taught me about conflict theory and its division of people into two groups: the one is focused on cooperaton working together towards something, being a part of a team. The other is competition based and its members strive only to always be the best, regardless of others.

I believe, Life, that even in pretending I was cooperative, I’ve spent the majority of you being the opposite, desperately trying to be the best at something, just so someone would acknowledge my talents, my worth, my sole existence.

Everything was a competition to me which, in my eyes,  I was constantly failing. This made me try even harder to gain everyone’s (or just someone’s) respect, turning you into a vicious circle of failure, Life.

This week I met someone who’s a lot like the me from twenty years ago: always keen to shower anyone and everything with never-asked-for-and-seldomly-accurate-wisdom, pressuring for others to believe their words so as to elevate everyone’s opinion of them.

This encounter reminded me that somewhere in my past, Life, I’ve strayed from my base camp and have found solace on the other side of competition. Thankfully, I liked the ambience here much better, as now, years later, being cooperative keeps rewarding me with growing amounts of inner peace.

There’s less fighting, there’s less frustration, there’s less seriousness. There’s much more room for fun, laughter, and, most importantly: others.

If psychology is right on this one, I feel I am on the better team now. There’s more people willing to help each other out, and even if you don’t excel at something (or anything), there’s acceptance and kindness all around.

Being competitive is a lonely walk and I thank you for leading me the opposite way.

You and I, Life. That’s teamwork.


 

 

Are you competitive or cooperative? Let me know in the comments (or write a better blog post about this topic) 😉 ↓↓

Letters to Life

Letters to Life (62)

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we can fear less”Marie Curie

Dear Life,

Every Friday we list all of our successes in my new coaching community.

This week, Life, I felt I had none to share.

As I struggle to make social media work in my favour, everything I do turns around to slap me in the face. It’s gotten to a point where Facebook is starting to feel eerily like my high school: no matter how hard I try to fit in, I simply don’t.

In high school I would try to copy “normal” others so they would like me (or at least leave me be), yet the results were a saddening divide in attention received: where they would be showered with positivity, I’d find myself a lonely 180 degrees away from that exposure.

Social media in general leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth and a headache to accompany my frustrations. I honestly don’t see the appeal of it, yet I realise I need it to grow a successful business.

As I shared my issues on my community’s page, several advises were given. All very well-meant, none very well-useful…

(If I state I hate social media, I think the worst thing to advise me is to “try Instagram.” I could be wrong, but I don’t think that’ll fix it)

Eventually, my business coach replied: “There are other marketing ways to explore which we’ll dig into soon. For now, take some time away from social media so as to not raise an aversion to it.”

That reminded me of something else, Life: my tendency to move too fast, skipping a few steps along the way.

Maybe I am different than most others, but if you taught me anything, Life, I know that when I do find my way, there’s no stopping me!

And that is my biggest success this week.

 

 

 

 

Let’s see if WordPress people are more eager to comment 😉 What were your successes this week? List them below ↓↓

Letters to Life

Letters to Life (61)

“Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men”John F. Kennedy

Dear Life,

I couldn’t help but notice how great an analogy baking a cake is for living your life or pursuing your dreams.

You see, as I added more ingredients, the mix became stickier and harder to whisk. At one point I even thought my hand mixer would give up altogether. But I persevered, because I knew I had yet to add my secret ingredient: my separately whisked egg whites.

Eggs are a fundamental ingredient to cake, but simply adding them is not adventurous at all. The trick is to split the yolks from the egg whites and beat the latter stiff, adding them at the very end of your cake-baking by gently stirring them into your mixture.

I could tell you why, but this letter is not really about baking cakes. It’s about you, Life, being just like baking cakes: people who go through you doing things “according to the book”, will never get any spectacular results. Their lives will be a lot like everyone else doing the same things in the same manners.

However, if you choose to stray a little from the beaten path, persevere even when things get tough, you’ll end up with something amazing instead.

For a split second I doubted my trick, as the mixture was very difficult to stir. It felt a lot like trying to get my business to become a success, which feels hopeless right now. The ironic similarity, Life, did not escape me.

But then the egg whites did their job and smoothed everything out, just as expected. The cake turned out super light and fluffy and I was reminded once again: if you want success, you have to work for it.

Trust your own abilities.

And your own secret ingredient ❤