Heart to Post

HEART TO POST – Trying To Fold My Life Into (Preferably Not A Frog) Shape

“Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay”Simone de Beauvoir


If life was measured by origami skills, I’d have a serious problem.

The other day I did the unthinkable: I searched out an old acquaintance on social media.

There are numerous reasons never to do this, the main one being it’s only going to make you feel bad about yourself. Because comparison always does.

A quick memo on comparison:

  1. You compare yourself to someone else and you lose: their lives seem better, more fulfilled. You think it’s just this one person leading a better life? Think again! Clicking through on their page is only going to make you believe every other person you come across has a better life than the one before. It’s a snowball effect of misery waiting to play avalanche on your self-esteem.
  2. You compare yourself to someone else and you win: or so you think. Ask yourself why you picked this particular person to measure yourself up to with. Possibly because you knew, deep down, you’d look better. Which is merely a sad way to cover the fact you’re displeased with your life as is. This rush of “look at me being superior!” will run off quickly, only to be succeeded by default unhappiness.

Either way you spin it, social comparison leads to despair. I know this, yet I fell for it as I recognised someone on the background of a TV show and suddenly wondered how they’d ended up.

Well… Let me put it this way: their life evolved itself a little different from mine. And by little I mean a lot!

After the initial shock (and familiar the-whole-world-is-moving-forward-and-I’m-standing-still-feeling) wore off, I realised we’re both where we need to be in life, her going her way and me going mine.

And don’t need to prove anything to anyone (although I wish I could run 10k in under less than one hour like her).

If life was an origami paper, she’s folded hers into a different shape than I did mine. In all honesty: I don’t even know what shape I am aiming for! The only bloody thing I can actually fold successfully is a frog!

-Ribbit, ribbit - I am a frog
You have to admit it’s a pretty decently folded frog, right! Sadly, it’s the only thing I can fold out of paper…

And I don’t want to be a frog, I want to be something else.

Something delicate, something special. The kind of origami you can only create after years of trying.

Because what’s the point in being like everyone else?

So I keep trying to fold something special, failing, and unfolding again. I keep straightening my paper down, drumming my fingers on the table impatiently before trying out something new.

I refuse to listen to how others folded their papers. And that’s where this woman and me went different ways: she followed instructions and created something beautiful. An origami creature that matches that of many others, but makes her (and many others) happy.

I don’t want something beautiful. I don’t want my silly frog! I want something exceptional. Something incomparable.

Because comparison never made anyone happy, and I want to be happy, but happy my way.

 

 

 

 

 


OH MY HEAVENS it’s a panda! It’s got to be a panda what I’m trying to fold! How could I not see it? If anyone’s got the secret instructions on how to make an origami panda, please share them with me! 😉
Heart to Post

Wednesday Wisdom-Tile

Hope you are all having a good week!

Heart to Post

Wednesday Wisdom-Tile

Pfft, I want to write more, not just post links to videos or share an image (although making these tiles actually takes a fair amount of time). I’m getting there, I promise! 🙂

Meanwhile, I wish you all a good week!

Heart to Post

Wednesday Wisdom-Tile

I wish you all a happy Wednesday!

I know I haven’t been up to my old writing habits, but as you can tell from this quote, I am in a transition phase and need to figure out a way to make things work. It’s probably going to take a while, knowing me 😉

Letters to Life

Letters to Life (11)

“You sing, fight, cry, pray, laugh, work and admire”
– Random Paper Wisdom (but the original quote is from Ramses Shaffy) –

Dear Life,

What’s your deal? I mean, I keep trying to figure out how you work, but I can’t fathom it all. Lately a new dilemma has arisen: what do you look like?

Is there a Big Life we are all part of? Like you are one big, ever moving stream and when we get born we just get thrown in, taking in our place within the whole? Or do we each get our own little part of you and together they make up the big picture?

In other words: are we swimming in an endless ocean of you or do we make up that ocean instead? Do you exist even if we all were to go extinct tomorrow? Or would you, Life, wilt away with us?

The reason why I ask is because I am confused. I always assumed everyone was part of something bigger than ourselves, an intangible thing that lives on even if the parts we play in it end. But that raises the question: what is the purpose of you, Life? If we each have our own tasks to do for the greater good, then surely you must have a goal of your own. Something that’s bigger than any living person, something we ought to help you achieve (even if we don’t know what it is).

But if we all get our own piece of Life with birth it would mean we are here for our own good. That our Life is precious, because when we lose it there’s no one to step in and take our place. That we are more than mere workers for the Greater Good, and we are here to learn a lesson.

I think during the past days my perspective of you, Life, has changed. From the former thought to the latter. It has to do with all the negative things you’ve been throwing at me and the people I care about, and for the love of the Universe I cannot think of a reason why you would do this. Why you would sit back and take away some of your own hard workers, harm your own if you’d be that big ocean we all swim in. It makes no sense at all.

It does make a little sense to think this happens so we learn a lesson to make our Life more valuable. To embrace the people we meet along the way, whose Life has somehow mixed itself up with ours. It would also explain that, even if one Life ends and it affects another, it doesn’t necessarily affect every other Life on Earth.

The more I think about this, the more it feels like I am starting to see the real you, what you are like. Each of us has been given our own Life. We mix it up with others, maybe for a while, maybe forever, but it’s ours and ours alone.

You are a precious thing, Life, and not to be taken for granted. There’s no big you, there’s only the little parts each of us has been given, and we ought to appreciate that to the fullest.

X,

Samantha


How do you see life? Are we part of a bigger deal or do we each have our own purpose?