Letters to Life (65)

“Failure is only the opportunity more intelligently to begin again” – Henry Ford

Dear Life,

Doing my taxes the other day got me wondering about two things:

1 –  Did they have to make it this difficult? The wording of some of the questions was badly chosen at best and completely incomprehensible for the remainder of the tax forms.
I mean,  I went to college! I graduated With Distinction! So we’ve already established I am not stupid, yet I feel stupid when I ponder my brilliant mind about what exactly it is my tax service wants to know…

2 – Thank goodness there are people in this World who devoted their time, attention and college choices to become tax advisors. I honestly don’t know how they do it, Life, but it must be one of your miracles not to see them crumble and falter under such boring tasks that come with – UGH – doing taxes.

Anyway, adamant to learn how to do my own – now that I am a business owner it’s gotten more challenging – I decided to try and figure it out before my tax advising cousin comes over next week to check on my hard work and possibly laugh at my tax stupidity (in which case I will not feed him).

2018 was my first year as a professional life coach and my one and only paying customer scored me a whooping €49 in tax returns last year! Keen on getting even more out of it this year, the shocking negativity of the numbers hit me: -€800.

That’s minus eight hundred Euros, Life! That means I spent more money than I earned!

However disappointing this outcome, I did not take too long to get over it. I am learning how to run a business, how to make it profitable and I am learning how to do my taxes. This is my learning curve!

So my taxes are a downer, but who knows what wonders await me in coaching? I mean, I am only just getting started. This? This is but a warm-up!

Before you know it, I’ll be coaching (and doing my taxes) With Distinction. Because I am brilliant ❤

Did your taxes depress you, too, or are they also making way for improvement next year? Let me know I am not alone in this! ↓↓

Letters to Life (64)

“Don’t stumble over something behind you” – Seneca the Younger

Dear Life,

Old habits die hard, or so they say. I am afraid this might be true, as I find myself still questioning almost every move I make as if everyone else has been given the almighty power to weigh me – and possibly find me too light.

What has come over me? I wish I knew what drives that part of me, as I am the first to tell anyone either willing or unwilling to listen that other’s opinions are just that: opinions. If somebody thinks what you did was stupid, it does not make you a stupid person. It just means you did something considered silly by someone else.

Two things happened this week that caused me to experience a few moments of self-doubt: First, I raised my wages for coaching. Although this made me feel a bit icky, it also felt right. I was able to rationalise my move and thus feel okay about it.

Second, I didn’t dare to share that weekly success in my coaching community. Why? I was too scared somebody would travel to my website, take a peek at my new wages, then make the journey back to their keyboard just to tell me I am not worth my prices.

For thirty-plus years I’ve lived in constant fear of somebody telling me I am not worth it, Life.

That has to stop. From this day forward, I am going to show myself the love and attention I am worth. I am going to actively appreciate myself for the next seven days at least (and then some).

Feeling worthless is like a dress that no longer suits me; I’ve outgrown it. It’s old and worn-down and I am tired of the way it looks on me.

I’m going to replace it, Life, finally. Because I AM worth it 🙂

Are you aware you are a worthy being? Or are you still figuring it out (like me)? Let me know in a comment! ↓↓

Letters to Life (63)

“My only competition is the person I was yesterday” – Unknown

Dear Life,

Psychology class taught me about conflict theory and its division of people into two groups: the one is focused on cooperaton working together towards something, being a part of a team. The other is competition based and its members strive only to always be the best, regardless of others.

I believe, Life, that even in pretending I was cooperative, I’ve spent the majority of you being the opposite, desperately trying to be the best at something, just so someone would acknowledge my talents, my worth, my sole existence.

Everything was a competition to me which, in my eyes,  I was constantly failing. This made me try even harder to gain everyone’s (or just someone’s) respect, turning you into a vicious circle of failure, Life.

This week I met someone who’s a lot like the me from twenty years ago: always keen to shower anyone and everything with never-asked-for-and-seldomly-accurate-wisdom, pressuring for others to believe their words so as to elevate everyone’s opinion of them.

This encounter reminded me that somewhere in my past, Life, I’ve strayed from my base camp and have found solace on the other side of competition. Thankfully, I liked the ambience here much better, as now, years later, being cooperative keeps rewarding me with growing amounts of inner peace.

There’s less fighting, there’s less frustration, there’s less seriousness. There’s much more room for fun, laughter, and, most importantly: others.

If psychology is right on this one, I feel I am on the better team now. There’s more people willing to help each other out, and even if you don’t excel at something (or anything), there’s acceptance and kindness all around.

Being competitive is a lonely walk and I thank you for leading me the opposite way.

You and I, Life. That’s teamwork.

 

 

Are you competitive or cooperative? Let me know in the comments (or write a better blog post about this topic) 😉 ↓↓

Letters to Life (62)

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we can fear less” – Marie Curie

Dear Life,

Every Friday we list all of our successes in my new coaching community.

This week, Life, I felt I had none to share.

As I struggle to make social media work in my favour, everything I do turns around to slap me in the face. It’s gotten to a point where Facebook is starting to feel eerily like my high school: no matter how hard I try to fit in, I simply don’t.

In high school I would try to copy “normal” others so they would like me (or at least leave me be), yet the results were a saddening divide in attention received: where they would be showered with positivity, I’d find myself a lonely 180 degrees away from that exposure.

Social media in general leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth and a headache to accompany my frustrations. I honestly don’t see the appeal of it, yet I realise I need it to grow a successful business.

As I shared my issues on my community’s page, several advises were given. All very well-meant, none very well-useful…

(If I state I hate social media, I think the worst thing to advise me is to “try Instagram.” I could be wrong, but I don’t think that’ll fix it)

Eventually, my business coach replied: “There are other marketing ways to explore which we’ll dig into soon. For now, take some time away from social media so as to not raise an aversion to it.”

That reminded me of something else, Life: my tendency to move too fast, skipping a few steps along the way.

Maybe I am different than most others, but if you taught me anything, Life, I know that when I do find my way, there’s no stopping me!

And that is my biggest success this week.

 

 

 

 

Let’s see if WordPress people are more eager to comment 😉 What were your successes this week? List them below ↓↓

Letters to Life (61)

“Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men” – John F. Kennedy

Dear Life,

I couldn’t help but notice how great an analogy baking a cake is for living your life or pursuing your dreams.

You see, as I added more ingredients, the mix became stickier and harder to whisk. At one point I even thought my hand mixer would give up altogether. But I persevered, because I knew I had yet to add my secret ingredient: my separately whisked egg whites.

Eggs are a fundamental ingredient to cake, but simply adding them is not adventurous at all. The trick is to split the yolks from the egg whites and beat the latter stiff, adding them at the very end of your cake-baking by gently stirring them into your mixture.

I could tell you why, but this letter is not really about baking cakes. It’s about you, Life, being just like baking cakes: people who go through you doing things “according to the book”, will never get any spectacular results. Their lives will be a lot like everyone else doing the same things in the same manners.

However, if you choose to stray a little from the beaten path, persevere even when things get tough, you’ll end up with something amazing instead.

For a split second I doubted my trick, as the mixture was very difficult to stir. It felt a lot like trying to get my business to become a success, which feels hopeless right now. The ironic similarity, Life, did not escape me.

But then the egg whites did their job and smoothed everything out, just as expected. The cake turned out super light and fluffy and I was reminded once again: if you want success, you have to work for it.

Trust your own abilities.

And your own secret ingredient ❤